If you or someone you know has been involved with Hawaii's Department of Child Welfare Services (regardless of what island you're on), please take a survey HERE.

The information gathered will be used to help those who are working to prevent situations like Sheri's from happening and for positive change in Hawaii's child protection system. (Sure wish they had one of these for judges that actually was taken seriously).

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On May 30th Veterans Affairs Secretary, Eric Shinseki, not only provided his letter of resignation to the President but he provided former Hawaii DHS Director turned South Carolina Department of Social Services Director, Lillian Koller, with the wording to tender her own resignation on June 2nd. Interestingly enough in both cases critics say that the "distraction" Shinseki and Koller refer to as their reason for resigning won't be enough to resolve the problems that grew in each of their agencies under their administration. In Koller's case, the critic's voice rings true...

Deadline - January 15, 2014

Concerned parents were elated this week when a much awaited segue for them to speak came forward as an invitation from the federal government, asking for clarifications on identified problems with child human rights in court, family rights in court and the lack of a uniform structure to respond to child sex abuse investigations, child abuse investigations and placement of children with a parent who is not known to them, has committed crimes against the other parent or is convicted of crimes that put the child at risk in their care.

Following a march on Washington DC and a Congressional Briefing this Summer members of Congress heard and were concerned about the severity and frequency with which child custody issues are mishandled, to the point of injury to the child or protesting parent. http://www.examiner.com/article/justice-and-mercy-national-safe-child-co... It is remarkable that BOTH events happened despite the sequester, AND that these actions generated interest and an invitation.

Some cases are so problematic, as with the classic case illustrated in the October 2012 Documentary of Holly Collins, called "No Way Out But One", that the parent is forced to flee the situation, due to deafness in authorities, investigators, systems system law and policy, court law and policy, and court systems. Succinctly, the definition of being run into the ground by such system based problems is called "Systems Induced Trauma." Beyond victimization in a specific social or family situation, the family, one or all members are further agitated, abused or traumatized by the applied services and policies of systems that interlock without oversight, basically trapping the persons perpetuating a complaint without safety and resolutions.

CLICK HERE FOR LETTER FORMAT AND SENDING INFORMATION

Contrary to the victims, perpetrators of domestic violence (when in the relationship) aren't as easy to spot. Read on to find out why and what to look for.

There are two ways to be seen as "superior" or as better then someone else - one's a good way and the other's a bad way. The good way is to possess a talent, quality or skill that differentiates yourself from others; the bad way is to tear others or someone else down in order to rise above – want to guess which way abusers swing?

Everyone loves a good laugh so how can you tell if the joke's really not funny? Easy: with good jokes, everyone's laughing – including the person who may be subject of the joke – but when the subject of the joke is ashamed, uncomfortable or hurt (everyone's laughing except for him/her) it's not a good joke, it's being mean.

A PsyD isn't needed for anyone to pick up on discomfort; it's what prompts us to ask "Are you ok?" because we sense that something isn't right. Abusers like to "make jokes" at their victims' expenses because it keeps victims shut down: quiet, shy, withdrawn and to outsiders it makes victims look undesirable: stupid, silly and/or incompetent.

Try to come to a victim's defense and you'll either become the target of the next "joke" or his aggression (cause then it's not funny anymore) AND she'll "get it" from him once the party's over: "Whose that idiot who said he actually liked your cooking, huh?!" Try to give him "a taste of his own medicine" and she'll get it even worse, especially if the joke hits home or is something she's told you about him.

Read the other 9 signs

A Middle Tennessee mother says all she did was try to protect her daughter, but after several calls to the Department of Children's Services, she was the one charged with severe child abuse.

Although a judge has since ruled that she did not commit any severe child abuse, the Nashville mother still hasn't spent any time with her daughter since December 2012.

The mom, whose identity we are not revealing, claims it was pretty clear something was wrong with her 8-year-old daughter when she would come home from visits with her father.

"What would happen is she would have burning sensations down there. Like, sometimes, we would put her in a tub, and she couldn't sit down. She would just scream, 'Momma, momma, it hurts,' and I would have to take her to the doctor to make sure that she was OK," the mother said. "And this was only happening while she was in his care."

"A father just ax murdered his son."

This email appeared in my inbox last February. The email's author had been warning me about judges in custody cases. She said they refused to listen to parents and children – even when they had evidence they were in danger. Sometimes, she said, the judges were even taking kids away from moms – just for trying to protecting their kids.

Unbelievable? I thought so , too. She said if I didn't do something, more kids would die. Then 9-year-old Matthew Hernandez was murdered. Yes, with an axe. While he slept on the couch. His father is charged with the murder.

Mary Chrzanowski is a no-nonsense judge. Some have called her "Scary Mary", accusing her of being out of line on many occasions.

Melonie Jackson, 45, went before Judge Chrzanowski in Macomb County in Michigan when she was going through a nasty custody and divorce battle. Jackson represented herself because she could not afford an attorney.

"I truly fear the family judicial system for anybody," Melonie told FOX 11 News. "Anything I've tried to do to protect my child, the harder they came at me, the more they came at me."

CPS Survey

If you or someone you know has been involved with Hawaii's Department of Child Welfare Services (regardless of what island you're on), please take a survey HERE.

If you are not in Hawaii but would like to participate, take the survey here.

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