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dara_carlin_maui_mothers_dayMother's Day is fast approaching, this Sunday, May 8th - time to buy "the perfect card", send some flowers, make brunch reservations or dinner plans!

Our earliest recollections of Mother's Day likely include memories of construction paper cards made at school, held together with Elmer's glue, written in crayon or magic marker and perhaps a little glitter; flowers hand-picked from a neighbor's yard and noble attempts at making a pancake breakfast in bed. Even though these efforts were done for Mom, the reward was actually ours as we waited in excited anticipation of her response: the smile that makes you swell with pride knowing you did good and the embrace of unconditional love that only a mother's arms can provide.

dara_carlin_Richard_DucoteHistory and the origins of things absolutely fascinate me. For example, did you know that the Graham Cracker was invented by a minister who created it as an antidote for sexual desire or that canopy beds were created NOT for "pretty princess beds" but to keep your bed clean from things that might fall through a thatched roof like bugs and droppings?

Mother's Day - May 8

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American Mothers Political Party suggest that we all send letters to the President.

Here is a possible letter you can use, or write your own.

President Barack Obama
The White House
Washington, DC 20500

dara_carlin_root_male_priviledge"Hey, pick that up RIGHT NOW!"  Without ANY further detail, imagine who could and/or would say that to whom.  

Would a female be shouting this to another female?  If so, what would their relationship be to one another and what context would it be in?  Could this be a prelude to a cat fight between two same-aged rivals?

What scenario do you envision if the person yelling the command is a female and the person it's being directed at is a male?  Perhaps a mother chastising her son comes to mind or a teacher reprimanding a student?

Because this is a column about domestic violence, that'll probably be the first scenario that'll come to mind if it's a male whose issuing the demand at a female, right?  But that's not where I'm going with this...  ;)
PowerControlWheel-3It's actually called a Power & Control Wheel but when a domestic violence victim first lays eyes on it, all she sees is a dissection of her life.  Most likely she doesn't even know the person who gave her this diagram since it was probably given to her as a handout in the first meeting of a DV healing group or during an intake by a DV service provider.  What she DOES know is that someone just handed her the story of her relationship with her husband or boyfriend on a piece of paper.

The reactions to the wheel vary as the victim reads through the tactics that describe the ways domestic violence is manifested.  For many, eyes will widen and she'll look up saying "OMG, this is me!  This is what happened to me!" 

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